Day 9 without a break from childcare:
I finally snapped and yelled at Henry. He was taking his bath, sucking bathwater from his squirting Thomas the Tank Engine bath toy. I told him no, as I always do when he starts drinking from those little lead- and mildew-coated trains. He kept sucking. So I took the blue one away. He grabbed the red one and started on that. I took that one away. He grabbed the green one. Each time he grabbed a new toy, he stared right at me in sinister toddler defiance. Each time I said no, my voice got louder. By the fifth one, I was shouting as I announced that bath time was over.
I thought he might cry. Worse, he just sat silently on my lap as I dried him off. I felt awful.
"Do you know that Mommy loves you?" I asked.
He didn't respond.
Then there I was, explaining that Mommy was very crabby and tired and that he is, in fact, a very good boy who just has to work on not sucking moldy trains.
He sat quietly with his lip out.
Ouch.
Oh, yeah, my job people never even called me. All that anxiety for nothing. Too bad for them. At this point I would agree to be paid in pita chips just to get out of the house.
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In which our formerly competent heroine struggles with nearly every aspect of child-rearing and homemaking
I hope you are not freaked out that I came over to your blog from Bri's! I could just really relate to this post having had times when I snapped at K. and hating myself for it. Anyway, it sounds like you are a great Mom. It's really hard.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so glad to hear from you! I'm also so glad I'm not the only one. I really don't snap at him too often, but every time I do I think "That's another 6 months of therapy for Henry."
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